Totally Inauthentic Challah

Totally Inauthentic Challah: For lazy people like us (who enjoy the prettier things in life nonetheless)!

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Welcome to the November 15, 2015 edition of Sunday Scratchups, your weekly recipe from scratch around grocery sales and affordable ingredients: Totally Inauthentic Challah edition. Let me just preface this by saying: I have enjoyed some wonderful challot in my time; I’ve had challah that seemed truly to be a work of art, made by bakers who were true masters of their craft.

This was not one of those challot. I am unfortunately not one of those people. This bread you see here? It’s a completely, utterly, totally inauthentic, non-Kosher, super lazy, faux Challah.

But with apologies to all of those people: It was delicious.

So you know how, no matter how long you’ve been married to someone, you still sometimes find out one of those odd little things you never knew about their background that help keep your relationship fresh? Well, the other day MashupDad mentioned that his mom used to make challah out of refrigerated crescent rolls.

Say, what?

Yes. Crescent rolls.

No way!

Way!

Seriously?

Way!

(We talk like that sometimes, because we were both once teenagers in the 80’s.)

Well, crescent roll challah, I had to try. I had a couple cans of ALDI crescent rolls on hand (around a buck each if you want to try this at home), or Pillsbury has also been on sale all around town and more generous with the coupons around this time of year. And did I mention how pretty this would be on your Thanksgiving table as an easy alternative to the normal basket of rolls?

Totally Inauthentic Challah

Ingredients

Two 8 oz cans refrigerated crescent rolls
One egg
Sesame seeds or poppy seeds (optional)

Directions

Open your crescent roll cans and break the dough into four equal pieces. This is easy to do because each can has an automatic break in the middle of the dough — so just let it separate automatically down that middle section when removing it from the can.

Roll each dough section out into a rope on a large cutting board, making them even lengths and slightly narrower at the ends. Pinch one set of ends together and fan the dough out slightly to make kind of a pitchfork shape as shown above.

I’m braiding mine in four sections here because it’s prettier — and it’s not as hard to do as you might think! Just remember always to start from the same side: I go from the right, because I’m right handed. Turn your cutting board so that the dough is vertical and the joined end is away from you. Take the right hand section and braid it over the section next to it, then under the third section, then over the section on the far left.

Now, do it again. Starting from the far right, bring that section over, then under, then over — and now your right hand section is over on the left.

Keep braiding your (faux) challah — always from the right, and always over, under, over, until you reach the end. Pinch the ends of the dough together and tuck them under the loaf to make it look pretty.

Beat your egg in a separate bowl and brush the entire loaf with egg, then sprinkle on sesame or poppy seeds if desired. Bake on a greased cookie sheet for 20 minutes at 350 degrees, or until both the top and bottom of your challah are nicely browned. Let cool slightly before slicing.

Crescent Roll Challah: Way!

So there you go: The Totally Inauthentic Challah totally worked! And it was totally delicious, because: Crescent rolls are delicious. And seriously, how pretty did this turn out for a fun little three ingredient recipe? 🙂

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Totally Inauthentic Challah

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A delicious yet completely, utterly, totally inauthentic, non-Kosher, super lazy, faux Challah.

Course bread

Total Time 30 minutes minutes

Servings 4

Author Rachel Singer

Ingredients

• Two 8 oz cans refrigerated crescent rolls
• One egg
• Sesame seeds or poppy seeds (optional)

Instructions

• Open your crescent roll cans and break the dough into four equal pieces. This is easy to do because each can has an automatic break in the middle of the dough — so just let it separate automatically down that middle section when removing it from the can.
• Roll each dough section out into a rope on a large cutting board, making them even lengths and slightly narrower at the ends.
• Pinch one set of ends together and fan the dough out slightly to make kind of a pitchfork shape.
• I’m braiding mine in four sections here because it’s prettier — and it’s not as hard to do as you might think! Just remember always to start from the same side: I go from the right, because I’m right handed.
• Turn your cutting board so that the dough is vertical and the joined end is away from you.
• Take the right hand section and braid it over the section next to it, then under the third section, then over the section on the far left.
• Now, do it again. Starting from the far right, bring that section over, then under, then over — and now your right hand section is over on the left.
• Keep braiding your (faux) challah — always from the right, and always over, under, over, until you reach the end.
• Pinch the ends of the dough together and tuck them under the loaf to make it look pretty.
• Beat your egg in a separate bowl and brush the entire loaf with egg, then sprinkle on sesame or poppy seeds if desired.
• Bake on a greased cookie sheet for 20 minutes at 350 degrees, or until both the top and bottom of your challah are nicely browned.
• Let cool slightly before slicing.

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