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Totally Inauthentic Challah

Totally Inauthentic Challah: For lazy people like us (who enjoy the prettier things in life nonetheless)!

Welcome to the November 15, 2015 edition of Sunday Scratchups, your weekly recipe from scratch around grocery sales and affordable ingredients: Totally Inauthentic Challah edition. Let me just preface this by saying: I have enjoyed some wonderful challot in my time; I’ve had challah that seemed truly to be a work of art, made by bakers who were true masters of their craft.

This was not one of those challot. I am unfortunately not one of those people. This bread you see here? It’s a completely, utterly, totally inauthentic, non-Kosher, super lazy, faux Challah.

cut loaf of challah

But with apologies to all of those people: It was delicious.

fake challah on a plate

So the other day, I heard that someone’s mom used to make challah from refrigerated crescent rolls. Seriously! So, crescent roll challah, I had to try. I had a couple cans of ALDI crescent rolls on hand (around a buck each if you want to try this at home *closer to $2 in 2023, cause inflation), or Pillsbury is also on sale all around town. And did I mention how pretty this would be on your Thanksgiving table as an easy alternative to the normal basket of rolls?

Totally Inauthentic Challah

crescent roll challah ingredients

Ingredients

Two 8 oz cans refrigerated crescent rolls
One egg
Sesame seeds or poppy seeds (optional)

Directions

divide the crescent roll dough

Open your crescent roll cans and break the dough into four equal pieces. This is easy to do because each can has an automatic break in the middle of the dough — so just let it separate automatically down that middle section when removing it from the can.

Roll each dough section out into a rope on a large cutting board, making them even lengths and slightly narrower at the ends. Pinch one set of ends together and fan the dough out slightly to make kind of a pitchfork shape as shown above.

start to braid in four sections

I’m braiding mine in four sections here because it’s prettier — and it’s not as hard to do as you might think! Just remember always to start from the same side: I go from the right, because I’m right handed. Turn your cutting board so that the dough is vertical and the joined end is away from you. Take the right hand section and braid it over the section next to it, then under the third section, then over the section on the far left.

repeat the braiding

Now, do it again. Starting from the far right, bring that section over, then under, then over — and now your right hand section is over on the left.

braided fake challah dough

Keep braiding your (faux) challah — always from the right, and always over, under, over, until you reach the end. Pinch the ends of the dough together and tuck them under the loaf to make it look pretty.

challah on cookie sheet

Beat your egg in a separate bowl and brush the entire loaf with egg, then sprinkle on sesame or poppy seeds if desired. Bake on a greased cookie sheet for 20 minutes at 350 degrees, or until both the top and bottom of your challah are nicely browned. Let cool slightly before slicing.

Crescent Roll Challah: No Way!

loaf of crescent roll challah

So there you go: The Totally Inauthentic Challah totally worked! And it was totally delicious, because: Crescent rolls are delicious. And seriously, how pretty did this turn out for a fun little three ingredient recipe? 🙂

Totally Inauthentic Challah, printable recipe

Totally Inauthentic Challah

A delicious yet completely, utterly, totally inauthentic, non-Kosher, super lazy, faux Challah.
Course bread
Total Time 30 minutes
Servings 4

Ingredients

  • Two 8 oz cans refrigerated crescent rolls
  • One egg
  • Sesame seeds or poppy seeds (optional)

Instructions

  • Open your crescent roll cans and break the dough into four equal pieces. This is easy to do because each can has an automatic break in the middle of the dough — so just let it separate automatically down that middle section when removing it from the can.
  • Roll each dough section out into a rope on a large cutting board, making them even lengths and slightly narrower at the ends.
  • Pinch one set of ends together and fan the dough out slightly to make kind of a pitchfork shape.
  • I’m braiding mine in four sections here because it’s prettier — and it’s not as hard to do as you might think! Just remember always to start from the same side: I go from the right, because I’m right handed.
  • Turn your cutting board so that the dough is vertical and the joined end is away from you.
  • Take the right hand section and braid it over the section next to it, then under the third section, then over the section on the far left.
  • Now, do it again. Starting from the far right, bring that section over, then under, then over — and now your right hand section is over on the left.
  • Keep braiding your (faux) challah — always from the right, and always over, under, over, until you reach the end.
  • Pinch the ends of the dough together and tuck them under the loaf to make it look pretty.
  • Beat your egg in a separate bowl and brush the entire loaf with egg, then sprinkle on sesame or poppy seeds if desired.
  • Bake on a greased cookie sheet for 20 minutes at 350 degrees, or until both the top and bottom of your challah are nicely browned.
  • Let cool slightly before slicing.

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Recipe Rating




Pat

Friday 26th of June 2020

I'm going to try my hand at using 4 braids. Looks hard but you give excellent easy to follow instructions Thanks for that.

Michelle

Monday 17th of April 2017

I made this yesterday. 'Inauthentic'? Yes. lol Totally delicious? YES! Thanks for sharing the easy and tasty shortcut recipe.

Linda

Monday 16th of November 2015

You make me smile and laugh, Rachel. Thanks for the recipe, and for your realness online. It's totally refreshing that we all don't need to be Martha Stewart all the time. ;) (tonight, my husband and I are having left over pizza and a giant salad- delicious and easy!)

rachel

Monday 16th of November 2015

Leftover pizza sounds really good right about now!

Artie

Sunday 15th of November 2015

I can't wait to try this. Amazing

Rachel's Mom

Sunday 15th of November 2015

OMG! Finally something Rachel's mom can make!! Tomorrow I'll go get some crescent rolls, and hope they don't explode either in my refrig or my hand. (both of which have happened to me) I CAN'T WAIT to make these!!! Yum. Rachel's Mom

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